Friday, October 18, 2013

A Government Shutdown and a Jesus Opportunity

I don't know what all has taken place during this government shutdown, but I do know that there has been some SERIOUS women shut down and some serious Jesus movement going on in my workplace.

It feels good to talk about Him, to just be with those who are missing Him; who know Him, but who are missing that feeling of His arms around them.

I had the opportunity to sit down with a co-worker of mine a couple months ago and share my love, my struggle, my undeserving need for Jesus and my every day stumbling walk to get closer to Him. She has come from a place, a past hurt, that, to this day, has her chained to the very place she would like to escape; her past. She has placed a lot of blame on God and how things have worked out in her life thus far. I've become a good friend to her, but I know that she is not ready to let go, she is not in a place where she wants to give up control and allow God to move in her life in His most omniescent way.

Wednesday, I witnessed another co-worker of mine just break down in her office, crying, sobbing, putting herself down. I came to her as a listening ear, as a sounding board, a comfort place for a good laugh. Lord knows I don't have it all together and I can usually always make her laugh with a funny "at home" story about the kids or my inability to look like I'm 21 anymore and how I barely have time to brush my teeth.
She just broke down saying "I'm horrible, I'm a terrible person, no matter what I do I can't ever seem to get anything right, I'm just awful and have always thought that way about myself."
Immediately my heart broke for her; I didn't know what to say, what to do, Lord give me the words, I'm like a deer in headlights. All I could do was throw myself on my knees at her chair, put  my hand on her arm and tell her that that is NOT true. Those thoughts are from hell and the devil himself, she is deeply LOVED, cherrished, glorified by the most high King; the ultimate healer and redeemer, the One who has made her in His image, for His purpose, for His time.
This wasn't the first time I have seen her put herself down, and for a moment, I felt as if I had ten plus years of spiritual knowledge on a woman who is old enought to be my mother.

Today I had the opportunity to share my love, my struggle, and my stumbling walk again. I didn't offer, but the opportunity presented itself; because I am lowly, I am no better than the woman sitting next to me, I am no less important than the woman down the hall who beats herself up everyday. I am just real, raw, and okay with that. She opened herself up to me and where her past has been with her walk with God, her frustration with Him, her "fed-up" moments with Him. We shared similar stories from our past of hurt, disappointment, longing, helplessness, the constant questioning of why do I have to endure this and go through this? Why didn't this relationship work out this way, why did he do that to me, and why did I have to lose everything for that person?
She told me the one thing she admired about me, I thought for a second I was going to cry, was that I always made her feel accepted, I always made her feel good, welcome, like she wasn't any different or any less deserving than anyone else. That made my heart sing!!
If that could be the one thing I left this earth with tomorrow, would be that I could just "keep it real" with people, anyone. That they truly know the love of Jesus is not about worldly status or the "norm."



Women today have just beat themselves to death over their pasts, over their mistakes, over why they aren't like the woman next door or the woman down the hall. It makes me want to punch out a wall!! It makes me want to punch my own self because I am guilty of it too.
Ladies you are BEAUTIFUL, IN ALL WAYS, and created only by GOD in His image after His heart and loving will. STOP. I MEAN STOP. RIGHT NOW. Apologizing for every little thing, suffocating yourselves under a blanket of guilt and a past where YOU DO NOT LIVE ANYMORE. The past is dead. Do you hear me? It is dead. Lord knows I have to constantly punch the devil in the face because something that I just got done burrying, he is no more than five seconds later trying to resurrect that mess from the dead just to make me feel bad about myself.
Lose yourself in Jesus. Your self worth, self-acceptance IS AND ALWAYS HAS BEEN defined and named by HIM. You have nothing to prove to anyone. He has declared your name and your value far precious than anything this world has to offer.
Name it. Claim it. Know that every day might still be a struggle, but stumble on to Him, fall, and let Him show you how to get up and fight.




All my love in Him,
Lisa

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