Well, it has been a minute since my last post, a month to be exact. While God has been very busy in my life, I will admit I was sort of hesitant to share what He was working out in me.
God brought a season of change to my life right after Paul and I were married. A season of beautiful growth, mass confusion, and serene humbleness. Before we found out I was pregnant, God was setting me and my husband up for a baby, me especially, I just knew it. Little things in my life that I had struggled with in the past were finally coming together and under control, God was quiet around me, I had learned and dealt with many things about myself and those around me that prepared me for my next responsiblity and great love in life. A child.
With this child, God also showed me a season of change in my friendships. I am very happy to say that the woman I was in high-school is not the woman I am today; the woman I was in college is not the woman I am today; the woman I was three years ago is not the woman I am today, and the woman I will be tomorrow will not be the woman I am today. Some friends from high school and some friends from college are exactly the same way they were then as they are now. Not to say that is a good or bad thing, but, I believe, it is a personal and spiritual thing. God is always changing us, He is making a new image in us. If we were all the same and stayed at the same pace, life would be pretty boring, and our friendships likewise.
One friendship I had a very hard time letting go of. At one time in my life, what we once had in common, we no longer share. I like the quote T.D. Jakes uses when referring to his reading on "Letting Go." He says, "you've got to know when its over, you have to know when someone's part in your story is over, so that way, you can stop trying to raise the dead"... and I can't even begin to tell you how many times I've tried to raise the dead. Thank goodness for my wonderful husband, he is always a rock I can break myself against. I didn't realize that God was bringing to me brand new friendships and beautiful relationships that He knew I needed and would cherrish. I had to stop forcing myself to try to be the friend I thought some of my friends needed. That even included when friends around me didn't respond to a situation the way I would if it were something in their life. When people don't reach out with overwhelming joy as I would about something, that hurts, but I had to remember that isn't my fault. Who I am is not who they are. My pastor once shared with me that instead of harboring hurt feelings from past relationships (parents, friends, relationships) I should always, every day, channel that hurt and frustration right in to a booming ray of overwhelming love and joy to my husband and my family. Don't you love it when someone else is right? When change happens that does not mean that we stop loving others or that we stop caring, it just means that the paths we choose are different, some intertwine and some never re-connect.
Seasons of change happen all the time in and around our lives. I love all the seasons in my life: they have taught me what and who I am today and what and who I will strive to be tomorrow. My priorities have changed. I was reading in one of my many favorite books last night, A Wife After Gods Own Heart, and the words just about jumped off the pages to me. God wants me, as a wife and mother, to "build my home." And He has surrounded me with friendships, relationships, and the tools to prepare for this season.
"A virtuous wife carefully watches all that goes on in her household...." Proverbs 31:27
Now, do not get me wrong, I don't mean that every woman has to stay at home, be lonely, tend to the house and kids, but, WE ARE and were made to be the home makers. :) My husband and myself included still love to socialize and we make time for our own date nights and evenings with other friends, but, as I said before, priorities change, and God always surrounds us with what and who we need in our lives at the very time we are needing it to prepare great works for Him.
So, with all that said, whatever Season of change you are facing- know it is a season, it will pass, and it will make you a stronger, wiser, and more humble woman. Sometimes we can't always see all the colors because God is continuously perfecting His masterpiece. ; )
Until we write again, you are safe in Him <3
I'll begin by saying that my journey of loving to write goes back a long way. But, just recently, has my journey taken me in a new direction, an ability to write for others. I used to write when I was sad, hurt, or upset about something, and now writing has turned in to more of a learning experience and sharing that learning experience with other women who may be going through or have gone through the same thing.
It was the spring of 2006 when I finally opened my ears, eyes, and heart to God. I was 23. Now, let me clarify. I have been a Christian for a long time, I was baptized when I was in the 8th grade and my parents had me and my sister in church every Sunday school, service, Sunday night service, and Wednesday night. To this day, I am grateful for that. But, like most young women, we get out, go to college, venture off, try to figure this whole thing called life, out on our own. And, as we are dreamers, we do not anticipate MANY of life's failures and heartaches before us. While all this time, God stands right beside us, ready with open arms, for us to come running to him for comfort, compassion, wholeness.
I remember I had just gotten out of a serious relationship, that I felt, was going no where fast. I lived in Dothan, AL and had moved in to an apartment all on my own. Luckily for me, my very good friend from high school, Ryan, had moved to Dothan as well for his job and we ended up living in the same apartment complex. Ryan had already started attending a church there: Ridgecrest Baptist church, and I knew I longed for something to speak to my heart. I was hanging out at my friends apartment one day and we were talking about life and God and the decisions that I was hoping to make and a future that I longed for. There was a service on tv from the very same church that Ryan had been, and, after watching that, I knew my life would never be the same.
I felt like I was the only person in the world watching this tv, like the Pastor created a service especially for me, unbenounced, it was my Heavenly Father knowing that I would be in this very moment at that exact time. He talked about God's plan for our life and sometimes that a path God has laid for us, others just cannot follow. That we should never be afraid to trust God, to talk to Him, to seek him and ask Him what His will is for our life? WHERE DOES GOD WANT US??!! Although it is hard to let go and to trust an almighty God, that God is still God, and that He will never lead us down a path that was not laid out by Him, for Him. I attended church the next several Sunday mornings and I felt a glorious relief come over me, a new start, a fresh life, a new relationship with a best friend that I knew I had missed for a couple of years. I remember a message the Pastor preached one Sunday about Paul's thorn in the flesh:
"So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, [1] a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. 8 Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12: 7-9
When I am weak, GOD IS STRONG!!!!! That passage stuck with me the next couple of weeks, to know that I was facing a weakness, an insecurity I had, something I knew I had to let go of. For me, pride was my thorn. I was trying to figure life out on my own, without God's help, I was going to figure out my situation by myself, without the help of anyone. And the brick walls just kept coming!! ;o)
I wish that I could remember every single word of those next messages those couple of weeks, but as they were over 4 years ago, I can barely remember what I did last week. =) But, they were, my jump start right in to a relationship with a God that I had missed for several years, and it was one of the greatest feelings I have ever felt. That was just the beginning of a great relationship that I was really going to build for the rest of my life!
My point in telling that, was that God never made us to "stand still" and change is never easy. I made changes in my life and those changes greatly carried me down a path that brought me closer to God even to this day. I certainly don't claim to be perfect and when I say that I'm a Christian it doesn't mean that I am perfect, it means that I was made perfect in Him, it doesn't mean that I never say the wrong thing, it just means that God is speaking on my behalf, and as always, it doesn't mean that we never mess up, it just means that I serve a humbling God who is teaching me something new about myself, my character, and my love for Him every single day.
Now, there were about 50 life experiences between 2006 and now, Ha! and I wish that I had time to write about all of them, but I at least wanted to share my basis for what I long to write about now, and as the desire on my heart comes to write about something else, I'm sure those experiences will help narrate.
Until we write again, know that you are safe in Him.
Lisa
