A Letter to my Daughter

Well, here we are; somewhere between the very first, of many, major milestones and somewhere after many many months of constantly letting you go. Someone once told me that once I had children I would be in a state of constantly letting go. Sincerely true.
You are about to embark on one of many amazing adventures as a young lady; and not just any young lady, but sought out, dreamt up and molded from the hands of your Heavenly Father. I wish I could say that I had some magical guide book typed up for you, some list to check off as you walk through life dodging what will feel like rippling bullets some days and other days complete bliss.
The truth is.. I don't. I don't have anything to offer you other than this---

Take God with you Meadow, wherever you go. He will never leave you or forsake you and, trust me, the tears you will cry in this so called life have already been counted, already claimed and already set up on Gods golden shelf in heaven. He will be your greatest lover and your biggest fan.

Be kind to everyone, be patient with them. Listen to people who aren't like you and befriend the ones who think you might have it out for them. You will be made fun of, probably called a few names, talked about behind your back, your best friend will betray you and the boy you think you love will break your heart. Walk through it, learn from it, baby girl it will make you stronger, more wise than you would ever imagine. You will fight with me, you will lie to your dad, you will probably hate me and I hope you do because that means I fought hard enough to not let you drown yourself in unnecessary drama or conform to a world of hate and greed and selfishness. You will lose yourself to a period of trying to find yourself- remember what I said. Take God with you, His work is never done. The battles of elementary school, high school, college, career, marriage and motherhood are all challenging, demanding and, at the time they are taking place, will just about eat up every emotion you have.
Find strength in Gods Grace, find rest in His peace. You will run from Him and me at least once in your life. Run. Because you have been trained up from the day you were in my tummy to return to Him and He will never let anyone or anything separate you from Him.
Give more of your time and talk less. Learn to be a good judge of character; trust me, it will pay off in the long run. Sing, sing loud. Be brave and share your joy wherever you go, you will one day realize the impact of a happy fun personality and its affect on other people. Don't be greedy and don't try to act like you know everything, no one likes someone who always has to "one up" them. Be sincere and work in a job that will teach you humility. It will change the way you think and how you appreciate life and people for many years to come. Don't search for money; it won't make you happy, and the bigger the house you have won't get you any closer to Heaven. 
Pray. Pray about everything, and I mean, everything. Even when you don't want to, just say something, He's listening, I promise.

Remember there is ALWAYS two sides to every story. This has gotten me a lot farther in life and brought me even more peace. Don't listen to what "she" says about "him" or what "he" says about "her" or what "THEY" say about you-- unless you've stood in their shoes or them in yours, do not judge. Some people will assume the worst in you, let them. They haven't figured out yet who has created the best in them. 

And last but not least. Remember who you are and WHOSE you are. You are Gods child first, my daughter second. There is nothing you will do that will ever change that or cause me to love you any less than the day I first laid eyes on you. I promise to be here for you, however big or however small that you may need me. I will be your mother first and your friend second. And I will love you, support you and respect you forever and a day until God says there is no more.

Now, go there.. And go there with all your heart.. ......... 

Love,
Mommy

Be Brave for your Motherhood

Let me first back up for a hot minute. Anyone that knows me knows I've somewhat been writing for a while; mostly writing about various seasons of life I'm walking through or various struggles of motherhood I am facing or even terrified about.
I know that God has been asking me to continue writing; and in this new season I feel the sun shining on, still, scary moments and struggles through motherhood and even discovering and loving myself more as His. I know there are other women out there who feel the same way and are possibly walking, well, crawling through this season as well. So, here's to motherhood, Gods Grace, and learning how to say no; enough is enough, at least for this season ;)

As I reflect on 2015 I become angry, somewhat enraged; yet thankful and joyful; rested in the stillness of small steps I've made to stick up for myself and for my family. My pastor asked us the other day in church if we would think about where we were this time in 2014 compared to where we were now. I did not like my answer. I was mad at myself, I was mad that I had let a lot of people and a lot of things keep me from being the woman God had created me to be. Let me rephrase that. I let the devil trip me up several times and right inside my own family. No more. You see; I LOVE Jesus and I yearn for Him, every day. I can be so on fire for God anywhere and anytime except in my own home. Sad right? Well, yes. And no.
Stand still ladies.
Why don't you just take a moment to stand still. What or who is stealing your joy? If you can't get down to the nitty gritty of taking care of yourself how are you going to take care of anyone else? You can't pour from an empty cup. Do you hear me? you. Can't. Pour. From. An. Empty. Cup. And I've got two little people who think I hung the moon and the stars and I want to be the best mom and woman that I can for them.
I've had some terrible moments in 2015. I've been attacked (verbally and emotionally), been accused of wrongdoing, been talked to and about like I was a dog, and just plain treated like shit. In my own home, at work and in my own family. Did I mind? Yep... Being the displacement of others insecurities and assumptions suck. But when I remember who I am, WHOS I am; I don't mind; hell, I've never been one to take much offense and let's be real; most people are idiots and speak with death and hell on their tongues because they just don't know any better.
This year I will not stand for that. You finally reach a point in your life where you've had enough; enough of everyone and everything. I'm pretty sure it's the 34/35 mark ;) I'm building mine up :)
I've spent the majority of my five years taking care of two little people, taking care of a home and working full time. That is enough stress and fatigue in its own. And if you haven't walked through that I don't need your advice, your judgements or your "opinion." We've all got them and we all walk, crawl and run differently and at different times :)
All I can really say is that I've got a long way to go and I don't have the answers or an answer. I just know where I've been, where I'm standing and where I'm headed. And if you aren't for me, then don't be with me. If you can't speak life then just don't speak and if you can't just listen then don't offer a shoulder. People will appreciate you more for what you DONT say and rather how you just be there.
I'm sure I'll continue to re-think friendships, create more boundaries and separate relationships. Only because I'm tired, so damn emotionally tired of my spiritual heart being pulled right back toward the puddle of tears I left on the floor in 2015.
So I dedicate this blog to my fellow mommies out there who have struggled, are struggling, have been at the throes of someone else's dirt and baggage and have found yourself hysterically wheaping feeling the most alone you have ever felt in your entire life. I've been there, some days I'm still there, and I promise to be brave for you, to be brave for myself, to be brave for my family even if my family doesn't look like your family. I know that with God all things are possible and all things are for the good of His Kingdom. He is my Father, my Creator, my Defender and my Healer and I will not stop until I see His beautiful face one day in Heaven ❤️❤️

All my love,
Lisa

Breaking the Habit and Receiving Grace

This picture here was taken three days after, what would be for me, the most heartbreaking and disappointing moment as a mother I would feel in this season of parenthood~~

Let me back track for a minute. There have been many times, actions and moments that I am not proud of and hoped could have been different growing up and just figuring out this thing called life. If I was certain of one thing it was going to be that I would do a complete 180 to some of the ways that I was raised as a child toward children of my own. I didn't want to repeat some of the actions I learned. And let me tell you, learned behavior is a hard one to break until God slaps you in the face.

I grew up learning how to "live" in the same home as my parents but there wasn't much engagement in conversation or just being there together, knowing I would always have a solid rock to fall on. It was like people just walking around not really talking, speaking words of praise, and there was never any room for grace or understanding. I learned to seek comfort from myself or from my surroundings, my friends, co-workers, social media, etc.

Well, it was exactly three weeks ago to the day that I received the dreaded teacher/director "let's sit down and talk" text. Immediately that arrow of conviction hit me in the deepest part of my heart and stomach and I knew God wasn't playing around anymore. He is faithful to chastise me every time.

Five months prior to this Meadow was moving up to her big girl class, the notorious new age of new friends, more talking, communicating, insecurities, and you guessed it, more dramas. Meadow walked in to the ripe age of four and coming in to her own little person. Behind that swiftly followed Christmas, birthdays, Thanksgiving, and more birthdays, one exhausting yet thrilling milestone after another. While the world was spinning before my face, the devil knew how he would win me out on this. I was losing my head, forgetting to take my Zoloft and losing my patience and cool with my husband and more so our children. I was enthralled on facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, email, texting, a new business/ItWorks adventure, whatever distraction was grasping my attention and therefore leaving little room for grace and compassion for my children. And the worst part; I knew better. God had not only been repeatedly using my husband to convict me of my "bad habit" but He was also consistently convicting me Himself. And I continued to refuse to listen.
But this time He brought me full force to the carpet, to my knees with uncontrollable tears and heartache, embarrassment and sincerity. Even now as I type this I cannot help but cry and be ashamed of the one bad habit I had become. Meadow had become withdrawn, somewhat sad and somewhat mean to her friends. She didn't participate in class and did not sing with the light of Jesus that I know she has in Bible. Bible and singing are her favorite parts of her school day. Meadow had learned my same childhood behavior, that sometimes it's just best not to say anything at all. I was with her every day but I was not REALLY WITH HER. And this is the age where she needs my full attention, no matter what. Period.
I was in a hangover from this moment for the next few days; sad, disappointed, mad, hopeless. I took quick action to shut off everything around me, whatever it was, it could wait, I needed space and time to grieve my baby girls', and my own, heartbreak.

After about a week or so, God reminded me how Great He is and how perfect and strong He is when I am weak. He told me to get up, that He had created a new day, that all things are made new in Him. He said to me, Lisa be a proud mother that you allow Me to move and stir in You, that you can see this change I am asking of you and take action now before you stumble down a blind path. Cling to Me child, I am your Father and no one will pluck you from My hand and no one will cause you harm, My Grace is sufficient. You will have bad days and that is okay, take heart, I have overcome this world and these many troubles that you still will face.
I couldn't have clung to His cross any harder that day than I did three weeks ago.

So, I lay my weakness, my imperfection before you to say this to you, all mommies out there, whatever is giving you anxiety, angst in your day, distraction in your household; PUT IT DOWN. And if you need something to take the edge off, then that is okay and that is just what you need. It doesn't make you a broken mommy, a bad mommy, a messed up woman. Every woman's walk is different and every woman's limits are different. I knew what was the right thing to do but I chose to ignore it and at the cost of my daughter's emotion and the shaping of her heart. If you have people in your life that aren't speaking LIFE in to you; you need to tell them no, if you have social media and other "habits" that are pulling you away from your God and family, you need to tell them no. Tell them no and tell God yes.

God tells us:
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. ²⁹ Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰ For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” ~ Matt 11: 28-30

"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." ~ Romans 12:2

This was my weakness and I made a change:

God has been gracious that in these past three weeks my genuine quality time with Meadow has completely transformed her spirit. Our quality time has been spent talking, cuddling, loving and just being together. Even if I am not saying or doing anything, just being by her is what she needs. These are the most important years of her life and while God has given me a gift to speak life in and to others outside my home, I should be more apt to speak life in to my loved ones within my home. Meadow is my saving Grace and her unconditional love is much like Jesus, even when I fail her daily, she still loves me, she's still on my team, and we will never give up on each other. And even though her picture above was three days after my downfall, I made sure to start then and she has the most precious, beaming smile. She is my biggest fan. <3

All my love, 
Lisa 

Forgive Mommy for Having a Very Bad Day

For some reason gliding my fingers across a keyboard releases some peace about me.
I found myself sitting at another "rock bottom" moment in my life, feeling like a failure at everything, and, like most women, comparing myself to the ideals of "nothing."

Then the next thing you know I am reading that article about 'How to be a better mom'... 'Don't give yourself such a hard time'... 'Mommy they need you right now'.. and blah blah blah; adding to my already "no good, feeling sorry for myself, bad mom, day." Leave me alone.
Somewhere along the line I started letting what other people had to say have an effect on me and where I was in my season of life; whether with my husband, my children, or myself. I learned how to take what they say with a grain of salt and keep pushing.
I won't lie, it has been an up and down struggle for me for four years to try to be a good woman, a good mother, a serving wife, a provider, and steadfast homemaker. And all while having two toddlers 14 months apart doesn't make my "tasks" any easier or my effort any less deserving. Everyone needs a piece of me; for something, so it feels.

I am pretty sure I almost had divorce papers pulled up on my iPhone last night when my husband walked in. He had already worked a long hard day and evening so of course that is exactly what he wanted to come home to. And I can honestly say what put me over the edge was somewhere between our son deciding it was better to relieve himself on the couch cushion, our son and daughter smashing goldfish in to the carpet, and then they both thought it would be comical to spit on to our pillows. I mean really? I'm over here just trying to cook some bacon and French toast, COME ON!! Don't even go there... Yes, I did get the spoon, and yes, we discipline our children and no they don't act like that all the time. But, this was the wrong evening. I was not the one and this was not the day.
After reality and God's grace sunk in; 12 hours later, I couldn't believe I wanted to leave over a pee stained cushion, goldfish, and spit. Don't get me wrong, at that moment of frustration those were some very good reasons to haul tail out of there, but there's a whole lot of bad that could go on if Paul and I were separated that would be worse than a pee stained cushion.

I was having a very bad day.

So, you'll have to excuse me if I stare at you with a dumbfounded I'd rather slit my wrists look while you tell me and/or comment with "you will miss these years and them wanting you".... Ummmmm, I'm pretty sure someone once told me that about my four years in college, and, well, 10 years later, nope. Not missing college. Excuse me if I flipping lose it, I mean LOSE IT, probably look like I'm going a little postal, but my daughter is acting like a drama queen, my son is throwing matchbox cars within inches of my forehead, my husband is picking up sweet tea instead of unsweet tea, washing clothes, making beds, wiping boogers off of everything, cleaning up spills, emptying a dishwasher, removing child from said dishwasher, repeating myself 2, 349 times about everything, can I take a poop and not have my son ask to see it? Forgive me if my jaw drops, I may even start to drool a little, because you are complaining that you are so tired and you have one child who can practically dress and feed him or herself. Forgive me if I can't get on my knees and pray at 9:30 in the morning while practicing an oomblamgata Yoga pose because I am praying while stuffing my face with old crackers from my desk making sure some old man who forgot his badge isn't walking around somewhere he isn't supposed to be.
You see, I yearn for certain things too, and prayerfully, in time, they will come. Of course God wants us to draw near to Him all the time. He even tells us in His word that it is better for a man to remain single because then we can give our ALL to God; our everything, our every thought.

So, here I am, in all of my glorious and raw, horrible imperfections and mishaps of a mother, still clinging to Jesus' cloak and asking Him to guide me through this season of my life because I cannot do this alone.
Will I miss our children being little, playing, their innocence and unconditional, forgiving love for me always? Yes, quite more than yes. But I am prayerfully looking forward to the years where I can have a meaningful conversation with Meadow, where we can all play and discover life as a family, and I can carry on a 10 minute conversation with my husband and get to know him, truly continuing to get to know him.

And with this I ask forgiveness of my husband and my children; forgive mommy for having a very bad day <3

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30

For everything there is a season,
a time for every activity under heaven.
A time to be born and a time to die.
A time to plant and a time to harvest.
A time to kill and a time to heal.
A time to tear down and a time to build up.
A time to cry and a time to laugh.
A time to grieve and a time to dance.
A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.
A time to embrace and a time to turn away.
A time to search and a time to quit searching.
A time to keep and a time to throw away.
A time to tear and a time to mend.
A time to be quiet and a time to speak.
A time to love and a time to hate.
A time for war and a time for peace.
Ecclesiastes 3

Joy, Responsibility, and the Bait of Satan

Now, before I get in to this long post, I must for warn you, it's going to be a doozy, because I have three points I want to make in this post about finding your Joy... So, grab your coffee, or whatever it is that keeps your eyeballs open in the morning.

It's been about six months of estranged, disappointing, disheartening, and not enough contentment in my life. Things that I was and still am praying for are just not coming to fruition and now I am in a state of frustration with myself and God; a spiritual dry spell and a blue mood.

Welcome to the devil's playground; the bait of Satan.

Satan hooked me on these three things:

A workplace
A non-existent relationship between a father and a daughter
A desire to change my husband to "catch up" to where I am in my own walk with God.
{just typing those three things, I just gave myself a headache-- that is an emotional/spiritual mess!}

All three of those leading me to the disaster area that is caving around me and causing me unrest and unruly behavior.

I remembered a saying that a dear friend of mine shared with me about finding Joy and learning to have a content heart with Jesus, before Jesus will give me anything else; knowing that He is the giver, supplier, filler, lover of everything good in my life. How could I forget this? I knew all this, but many good things said are easily forgotten when our hearts are drowning in sea of discontent.

Let me elaborate on my three topics from above and where the devil has almost won in taking me out on these three things.

A workplace-- Not every workplace is great and there are days where I would like to pack my office, flip everyone the bird, and take my family to Africa and run wild with the zebras... Reality check. Work is work, it will be here long after I have left this world, and it is a part of supporting my family, it is what I do and I like what I do. But, it can also be emotionally, mentally, and spiritually draining. Even the relationships you develop at work. I have since had to space myself from certain relationships that are not pushing me toward Christ, but pulling me toward hell. Turmoil, grief, and chaos in the workplace was slowly starting to steal my Joy, not only from myself, but from my husband and my children. Bait of Satan #1

A non-existent relationship between a father and a daughter. Wow! This one is a little much; but I need to be brutally honest and raw. I was and still am trying to force a relationship, a love that every little girl desires from a man who didn't make much of an effort to reciprocate for the past 31 years of my life. Why should I be surprised that I am not getting the response and love that I feel like I deserve? Well, because that is just how a little girl feels, and while it is okay to have that feeling, the devil is using it to his benefit.
I have a father who has just not made much of an effort to get to know me for the past 31 years of my life: this is truth. I love my dad very much and I will honor him as God has asked me to do and I thank God that I came in to this life of mine. I also have a stepdad who didn't hug and show much physical affection or verbal affection while I was growing up, but he did the best that he could and he is a great dad and provider for our family and to my mom. I honor and love him very much as well.
BUT Satan knows that is a part of my weak flesh, he knows how to push the "daddy doesn't love you" button and throw me off focus- to get focused on that hurt and let my own loving husband and children fall through the cracks of my misery. Bait of Satan #2

A desire to change my husband to "catch up" to where I am in my own walk with God. Well, ladies just stop it. Not gonna happen and you need to just let this go. {Excuse me while I burst in to song from Frozen...} My husband is supposed to be my JOY, not my responsibility. His walk with God will come in time through MY PRAYER for my husband. Wait.. What was that? Yep, there ya go... It might help if us ladies prayed more for our husbands so that they will grow in their own walk with God. Prayer is a powerful thing you know ;O)
It's okay that I may be spiritually stronger, in a different place in my walk with God. That's okay. And it's okay that my husband is three steps behind or three steps ahead of me. Release the urge to change him and let go of the responsibility to be the "leader" and just learn to ENJOY him and PRAY for him. The devil will surely try to win you over on this one; I mean you're getting pissed off at your husband while trying to talk about scripture, right? LOL!! Bait of Satan #3

Do what you can; all things in time.

Now, find the Joy: while the next couple of weeks are going to be challenging for me because the devil tells me every day that it's easier to quit and not to pray about anything, God's word says different, always:

"Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.  " Philippians 4:6 

"Pray continually" 1 Thessalonians 5:17

"    Dear children, keep away from anything that might take God's place in your hearts. " 1 John 5

I challenge you, for the next three weeks, to stay away from anything that might take the place of God in your hearts, to find your true Joy in the things and people that are right in front of you, and to relish in the light of the Mighty King- you belong to Him <3

But Jesus told him, "Anyone who puts a hand to the plow and then looks back is not fit for the Kingdom of God." Luke 9:62

All my love,
L

Learning to Submit

I don't really have a long and exacerbated post for this time, but a thought that has been on my mind for a while; a word -- submission.

I am trying to figure out this thing called submission, especially to God's will and plan for my life and, of course, to my husband. I am a strong willed, independent, stubborn bia at times; okay I take that back; at all times and I struggle daily with this.

God really has my heart strings pulling at some areas in my life that I need to get together. I mean seriously; almost to the point that I want to punch my own self in the face sometimes.

God tells me to wait and be still; to wait on Him; my season is coming --

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

A Time for Everything

 3 There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven—

² A time to give birth and a time to die;
A time to plant and a time to uproot what is planted.
³ A time to kill and a time to heal;
A time to tear down and a time to build up.
⁴ A time to weep and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn and a time to dance.
⁵ A time to throw stones and a time to gather stones;
A time to embrace and a time to shun embracing.
⁶ A time to search and a time to give up as lost;
A time to keep and a time to throw away.
⁷ A time to tear apart and a time to sew together;
A time to be silent and a time to speak.
⁸ A time to love and a time to hate;
A time for war and a time for peace.

So I wait; I am still. I continue to pray and ask God to show me how to do all this- I know He wants to use my strengths, but I dwell too much on my weaknesses. I know that all He needs is a willing heart. I am willing Lord; I am willing.

<3
Lisa

A Government Shutdown and a Jesus Opportunity

I don't know what all has taken place during this government shutdown, but I do know that there has been some SERIOUS women shut down and some serious Jesus movement going on in my workplace.

It feels good to talk about Him, to just be with those who are missing Him; who know Him, but who are missing that feeling of His arms around them.

I had the opportunity to sit down with a co-worker of mine a couple months ago and share my love, my struggle, my undeserving need for Jesus and my every day stumbling walk to get closer to Him. She has come from a place, a past hurt, that, to this day, has her chained to the very place she would like to escape; her past. She has placed a lot of blame on God and how things have worked out in her life thus far. I've become a good friend to her, but I know that she is not ready to let go, she is not in a place where she wants to give up control and allow God to move in her life in His most omniescent way.

Wednesday, I witnessed another co-worker of mine just break down in her office, crying, sobbing, putting herself down. I came to her as a listening ear, as a sounding board, a comfort place for a good laugh. Lord knows I don't have it all together and I can usually always make her laugh with a funny "at home" story about the kids or my inability to look like I'm 21 anymore and how I barely have time to brush my teeth.
She just broke down saying "I'm horrible, I'm a terrible person, no matter what I do I can't ever seem to get anything right, I'm just awful and have always thought that way about myself."
Immediately my heart broke for her; I didn't know what to say, what to do, Lord give me the words, I'm like a deer in headlights. All I could do was throw myself on my knees at her chair, put  my hand on her arm and tell her that that is NOT true. Those thoughts are from hell and the devil himself, she is deeply LOVED, cherrished, glorified by the most high King; the ultimate healer and redeemer, the One who has made her in His image, for His purpose, for His time.
This wasn't the first time I have seen her put herself down, and for a moment, I felt as if I had ten plus years of spiritual knowledge on a woman who is old enought to be my mother.

Today I had the opportunity to share my love, my struggle, and my stumbling walk again. I didn't offer, but the opportunity presented itself; because I am lowly, I am no better than the woman sitting next to me, I am no less important than the woman down the hall who beats herself up everyday. I am just real, raw, and okay with that. She opened herself up to me and where her past has been with her walk with God, her frustration with Him, her "fed-up" moments with Him. We shared similar stories from our past of hurt, disappointment, longing, helplessness, the constant questioning of why do I have to endure this and go through this? Why didn't this relationship work out this way, why did he do that to me, and why did I have to lose everything for that person?
She told me the one thing she admired about me, I thought for a second I was going to cry, was that I always made her feel accepted, I always made her feel good, welcome, like she wasn't any different or any less deserving than anyone else. That made my heart sing!!
If that could be the one thing I left this earth with tomorrow, would be that I could just "keep it real" with people, anyone. That they truly know the love of Jesus is not about worldly status or the "norm."

Women today have just beat themselves to death over their pasts, over their mistakes, over why they aren't like the woman next door or the woman down the hall. It makes me want to punch out a wall!! It makes me want to punch my own self because I am guilty of it too.
Ladies you are BEAUTIFUL, IN ALL WAYS, and created only by GOD in His image after His heart and loving will. STOP. I MEAN STOP. RIGHT NOW. Apologizing for every little thing, suffocating yourselves under a blanket of guilt and a past where YOU DO NOT LIVE ANYMORE. The past is dead. Do you hear me? It is dead. Lord knows I have to constantly punch the devil in the face because something that I just got done burrying, he is no more than five seconds later trying to resurrect that mess from the dead just to make me feel bad about myself.
Lose yourself in Jesus. Your self worth, self-acceptance IS AND ALWAYS HAS BEEN defined and named by HIM. You have nothing to prove to anyone. He has declared your name and your value far precious than anything this world has to offer.
Name it. Claim it. Know that every day might still be a struggle, but stumble on to Him, fall, and let Him show you how to get up and fight.

All my love in Him,
Lisa

A Political Christian Rat Race

I woke up this morning thinking about my new facebook page I want to start, or should I say praying about?
I see a lot of encouragement everyday about marriage and relationships but little encouragement for the working woman?
Don't get me wrong, I love that encouragement for my marriage, they are all awesome tools, but I want more too.

As a working mom who loves Jesus, there are daily obstacles I face and sometimes struggle with.
I was knee deep in this struggle a couple months ago praying whether or not working or staying at home with my children was doable?
Serious kudos to the stay at home moms, that is some hard work! Just being honest, but there are times when I'm about ready to pull my hair out just after a weekend. And for my working mommies, we have a tough job as well!
I talked with my pastor about my struggle and some other things I was facing. He re-assured me that if working was my way of helping my family then that's what I've got to do. You do what you've got to do right? And i love my job, I love what I do, but I'm still searching for that reward? Then Pastor told me, he reminded me that going to work everyday isn't just something I "do." I go to work to share Jesus, to be a light in a dark place. Do what? Come again? Are you sure? Not something I wanted to hear because that would mean that I would actually have to do some of Gods work at work, not me Lord!
Its hard being a light in a dark place, I can barely be a light in my own home some days, but hey, someones got to do it, and Lord you owe me about 4,653 little debbies when I get to Heaven.

So with all this said it made me think about our government, ugh, that just gave me a headache. You have people, who may or may not be christians, sitting in an executive chair. They have pressures coming down on them from left and right, trying to figure out ways to make an extra dollar, and the constant griping about another employee in their ear. Oh no, I'm not talking about my office, I'm talking about Congress. Ok maybe both.
The only action that sentence makes me want to take is to run in the complete opposite direction. I mean who wants to reason with that?
Most people are who they are and they're not going to change unless God comes down here and smacks them up side the head. It is hard to reason with selfish, unruly desires of the flesh. It is hard to be the example because then you're the outcast trying to stir up trouble, trying to make change where stiff shells don't want it.
So it starts with us, and we need to step it up, we need to step up as a people and prayerfully not let our country be handed over to the devil's hands.

We need to step it up and quickly help the woman next to us at work that is quickly spiraling down a tunnel she shouldn't be going down.

I had forgotten that the reward is there, I just didn't realize that I need to be using ALL my tools God has given me!


Happy football Saturday friends!

And remember "God IS with you WHEREVER you go"

Lisa

The Knicks of Labor = )

Here is a picture of my wedding band.... the back of it actually. I found myself staring at it Tuesday morning while sitting in the dentist chair.

It is quite fascinating how much we are like our wedding bands; strong, solid, beautiful to look at. When we turn it over we see the knicks, dings, smudges of our labor; labor in marriage, labor with children, labor as a wife and a mother. Happy labor, sad labor, sufferring labor- all work done through our physical hands, through our hands of faith. All of the things that go around and around and around.
We forget what is beautiful, what is pure; the diamond in our heart's rough: Jesus.

I have been going to my same dentist for 15 years now, love her! We always talk about God and our families and your normal day conversation of how things are going.
In the fifteen years I have known this person, I never knew that she was facing her own battle. Many many years of knicks and smudges encompass her wedding band- the journey with a husband who was diagnosed with MS who's health is steadily declining. I listened to her story, her journey, her transformation, her fears, her praises, their beautiful children. A journey I could not quite come to grips with.

Right then I realized how selfish I could be sometimes and how powerful God is ALL the time. What usually took 30 minutes to clean my teeth; now took an hour because I was totally in love with God working on my character through my relationship with this wonderful person.
I knew right then that I didn't do my due diligence to my husband or my God by really praying for my husband; I mean praying for him thoroughly, from his head to his feet.
I had to immediately look for something, find something, a tool, an outline-- I needed some serious "how to pray for your husband" help :)

I remembered this book a friend of mine shared with me; been lazily telling myself that I would read it soon. The book is called "Becoming the Woman of His Dreams" by Sharon Jaynes. I have a couple of her other books and they are very good reads as well.

Before ordering the book, I did read the first chapter and wanted to print it off as a "go to" every day. If you are struggling with what to pray for or what to say, read the first chapter of this book on how to pray for your husband from his head to his feet. I pray for a lot of these things, but some things were new and very good. You can get to the portion of the book through this link on Amazon:

http://www.amazon.com/Becoming-Woman-His-Dreams-Qualities/dp/0736913513/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1371746667&sr=1-1&keywords=becoming+the+woman+of+his+dreams#reader_0736913513


Just a little tid bit for you today :) Happy praying ladies!

Lisa Schipansky

What may be a New Year for you, is a New Day for God

I started writing this blog about three weeks ago... and so, it only seem fair that I should finish it -

So it seems as though God's greatest works are just not done overnight; apparently, they take a lot of time, days, weeks, months even. I am starting to like that more about Him. Before, I would want an answer now, okay, maybe within the hour, but I slowly discovered that God doesn't quite work that way, and His time could even be YEARS of waiting, of listening, of small suffering {while I just throw myself in to the floor and have a fit about it} =)

I have been in a quiet place with God since before Thanksgiving. I had a little bit of falling out with my family and the more I think about it and reflect on it, it was all over nothing?! Basically, it boiled down to selfishness and pride, on all parts. My heart and mind were a whirlwind for a while and I just chose to not really think about it, that God would give me an answer about what I need to do when He felt I was ready and could act according to His will and plan, not mine. In that time, my emotions moved toward the Holidays with crazy family {I use the word crazy lightly- you know how it is with in-laws/extended family, etc.. so don't get too upset} My baby girl finally turning one was having a huge pull on my heart strings and just reflecting on the past year with her and my husband.

I must say, I had a few run-ins with frustrations over the Holidays, but who doesn't? You know, someone would say or do something that you just have to do a double take and then make your way to the non-alcoholic egg nog {for me anyway, since being pregnant I can't necessarily "booze it up"?} We had all the grandparents in town for Meadow's first birthday and it actually turned out exactly the way I wanted it to. We have some in Orlando, FL and then over in Augusta, GA, and then two here in Huntsville. Hello grandparent madness!! I did everything that I wanted to do and I did it my way. That was the only time, EVER, that my baby girl would be turning one and I am glad that I didn't do anything different. I still would not have done anything different.
I got to take a good hard look at my surroundings while having family in town. I got to see what, we often, overlook- our place in other people's lives. I am sure that God had a sense of humor when He asked me, a woman who comes from divorced parents, to marry a man who also comes from divorced parents, so that we could love each other up right on in to grandparent land. Probably more so why my husband and I value our relationship, commitment to marriage, and each other more than anything.

I think what frustrated me most was that people in our lives spend way too much time just "thinking".. I mean we are constantly thinking, and especially us women, so I had about six women, their emotions, feelings, and thoughts all channeling in and from different directions. And when it comes to the grandbabies, what woman isn't excited and just all over the place? But sometimes we channel a lot of what we feel and think in to unnecessary territory because it was a part of our past, someone didn't love us enough from our past, we had a bad relationship in our past, and so we think that we need to fix that now, with the people around us, even in the grandchildren. Sometimes I really think we just need to stop, step back, and just listen and enjoy who God has made in the people around us. And, there are times when family can be frustrating, tempting, and just wear you out. Maybe God has placed such a big family in my life because He wants me to share or teach them something; that is, if they are willing to learn and listen. You can learn so much from your children, even your grandchildren; I think a lot of parents take that for granted. I think a lot of parents are still looking for what they are "entitled" to for years of upbringing and hard work. I do not doubt years of upbringing, hard work, and sacrifice are not valid reasons for some praise for all they have made us to be. That is a true testimony to be celebrated!

But, Joyce Meyer could not have said it better, "It was God's place in the parent's life to make sure they bring up their children and raise them according to His will, once that is done, the parents job is done, it is God's turn now to continue to make in them the young women and men He has called them to be; it is now the parents role to ENJOY their children and who they are." Joyce Meyer, "Eat the Cookie, Buy the Shoes"

I could not have seen this in a more clear representation in my own life, than a message my dad left in my baby girl's first birthday card. It brings tears to my eyes every time I think about it. He wrote that Meadow could not have come at a more perfect time in his life, as it was a time when God was changing his. Meadow Grace was my dad's "saving grace". I do not know how much or what exactly God is doing in my dad's life, but I do know that He was up to something, that he was changing my dad, and my own child brought about a peace of a miracle. My dad has always known who God is, but I think it took him a while to finally have a real meaningful relationship and walk with God. And maybe I was never the "push" for that relationship, but it was my baby girl, it was his grandbaby that changed something in him, that assisted in changing something in him. I can say we've talked about God and I am so happy that my dad is growing a strong relationship with God and that is a special part of his life. And I must say I have never seen him smile and laugh more when we are all together and I love that.

This leads in to another incident that changed my look on things. A sweet friend of mine passed away. I could probably say that she was like a second mother to me, especially in high school when I felt like no one understood where I was coming from, she did. I didn't get to tell her a lot of things that I wished I had or get together again with her and tell her about the type of mother I had become before she passed away. I am ashamed for that; but I do remember her telling me {in one of our many talks on her balcony} she said that "being a mother changes everything, the kind of love you have for your babies is not like anything else, you will fight, suffer, and do and say things you never thought you would.." and she was right and I wish that I could share everything with her now because I know exactly what she would tell me. She would say "Lisa, you keep fighting, you keep doing what you know is right as a mother.."

Life is short, there is no question there, but it is not that short that God wants you to use that as an excuse not to do and not to be the woman of God, or man of God, that He has called you to be. It is not an excuse for us to walk in our own selfish pride because "we may not be here tomorrow": you are right, we may not be here tomorrow, but did you live your last day for God or did you live your last day for yourself? I say this because even in my own huge family, a lot of times we are thrown in about twenty different directions, trying some way to muster up the strength to please everyone. But a lot of times, people don't change, and their outlook, attitude, and response cause us to distance ourselves at times only because that behavior is hurtful to a family member. And then we are given the "life is too short to worry about the silly small stuff.." phrase that has been used year after year after year. And so it is definitely true: to a certain extent. The world is full of "silly small stuff" that I think more people get worked up over and think way too much about: you're running a few minutes late for work, you spill coffee on your shirt, your child pulls out 50 pieces of tupperware all over the kitchen floor, so what?? That phrase is not acceptable when important decisions, love, support and encouragement are asked of you from God and you are just not wanting to "give in" to what He is requiring of you.
If there is one thing that my own little family has taught me, that is to be flexible. We are constantly in a state of change, and we very well should be, if we are walking under an umbrella of God. We should never want to stand still for too long, that is the best opportune time for the devil to let us know what we are doing wrong.

Wow! I say all this now; as I am gearing up for another whirlwind, wild and crazy, love filled roller coaster ride with a newborn in the next week, because I know that another new year brings another new book of challenges. I like to think of my life as never having to "start over at the beginning of each new year" but that I start over at the beginning of each new day and I am thankful for a God who never holds me captive past the second I ask Him for forgiveness.

So-- I leave you with this verse, as it has been my favorite bible verse since I can remember: "When trouble comes your way, let it be an opportunity for great joy; for when your faith is tested your endurance has a chance to grow; so let it grow, when your endurance is fully developed, you will be STRONG in character; ready for ANYTHING" - James 1 <3

Keeper of the Safe Haven

I found myself in a very awkward situation this week, more so, my own safe haven had been breached, my morals questioned, and my faith thrown back in my face.
Let me further exploit the situation just a little... I was very heartbroken when I shared a feeling, a situation, a circumstance, that to me, was different, with a person who I very much respect, and that feeling was passed along to an unintended third party. There was nothing more to that situation than a feeling and it needed to end right there. As I have become a young woman of God I have learned many hard lessons of what to say, what NOT to say, and when to say it, regardless of my level of commitment with someone. I have also learned that messages, emails, texts, and lack of verbal communication are the worst ways to communicate when you are feeling a certain way about something. As many of you read this, you will take my blog one way versus your neighbor down the street who will take it another way, that is life, and well, my answer for that is, so what. God didn't make us to walk around with manuals to pass out to everyone we encounter and he didn't create us to say "I apologize if this offended you" at the end of every conversation we engage in. He created us to learn how to grow and to respect people and to respect, love, and cherrish that they think, feel, love, and learn differently than we do, than anyone does.  And we are to leave it at that.

"And the tongue is a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupting your entire body. It can set your whole life on fire, for it is set on fire by hell itself." James 3:6

I breached another woman's "safe haven", she thought I breached her "clique", her "homies", the people that she loves. When in reality, we as women just take everything over the top, to the extreme, and we want to right the wrong as soon as it has entered the doorway. And, as a consequence, sometimes our mama bear tendencies, our encouragement, love and explanation becomes way too much for the average woman's insecurity to bear. We do worse by our friend, by offerring information that we are just not quite sure what the other person meant, we try to keep it general, tender hearted, trying to see all sides of the corners at the table. Now this works, obviously, when you have the other person who can see all sides of the table with you, but sometimes that doesn't always happen, and you end up taking a severe lashing for, what boils down to, miscommunication. Bad days, sleepless nights, our own personal lives get in the way of trying to understand what someone was trying to communicate to us and we disregard it the second we hear something we don't like, we hear an unspoken truth, a negative has entered the picture, and we revert to... "that person is out to get us, to judge me" <- Now, there is a big word that has been watered down so much its unbelievable, to "judge" someone. God did not make us to be "judges" of anyone and He certainly didn't come down here and give me the rightful wand that says I can "judge" anyone that I want, what?? Because I love God? NO. But He did give me wisdom, grace, compassion, and mercy, and by those tools do I chisel away at a situation that I feel may not be exactly what I want or need and I use that knowledge to decide whether I want to continue in to more situations like that.

"Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." - Luke 23:34

Now, back to my warrior mommy moment of being the keeper of my own safe haven. I think it probably took everything in me to not have a breakdown moment in front of my nine month old, because now, I was the shunned girl, betrayed, rejected. I was furious inside, tears ready to roll, but then I looked at my baby girl.. I looked at her while I focused on feeding her her dinner and in to her warm bath and on in to her cozy pajamas. I could tell that she was sensing something wasn't right, she was in need of protection, love, assurance, security, that mommy was going to protect the safe haven. Those welped up tears went away, that rage (that if I were about 5 years younger I would have been very unlady like to someone) disappeared, the hurt, disappointment, frustration went away with each cackle, laugh, and splash my baby girl made in her bath tub. I AM the woman who watches over her home, I AM the woman who keeps peace in our safe haven for my family, the walls to my home are barriers against any misconstrued feeling trying to force its way in. In times that we just want to fall out in the floor and have a crying, big mommy baby, pity party, God gives us the strength to say "Not now, not this time, you have bigger tasks to tend to" and He is so right.

"A man's wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense." Proverbs 19:11

God sees everything, even when we feel like no one understands what we mean, where we are coming from, our own stupid struggles we face, and quite frankly, get pretty dang tired trying to explain what we "meant" to every person on the face of the earth. He knows our hearts and He knows deep down where we come from and where we are truly trying to go. And we do not hold that over anyone, when someone has hurt us, we do not take offense.

“The human heart is the most deceitful of all things,
      and desperately wicked.
      Who really knows how bad it is?
 ¹⁰ But I, the Lord, search all hearts
      and examine secret motives.
   I give all people their due rewards,
      according to what their actions deserve.” Jer 17: 9-10

Lisa Schipansky

Get on your knees, bear the thorn in your side, and wipe your mascara =)

Well, I must say that there has been a lot going on in my own crazy woman/motherhood and apparently I am not the only woman feeling that way here lately.

Its time to wipe our eyes and who cares if you see my mascara smudged across my face; I am real, life is real, and it is something that sucks us all up every day, in some ways great, in other ways not.

I thought about some of the things that have been going on in my own life recently and when I logged in to my blog this morning a sweet friend of mine's blog post is still in my feed from where I had followed their posts about their son in the Birmingham unit. He passed away about 4 months ago maybe and he was barely a year; it still brings tears to my eyes when I see their latest post about getting his room ready for him to come home-- talk about God not being fair? I do not know another couple who loves and shares how much they love the Lord as much as they do. They are humble, they are meek, they are on their knees and they are not afraid to show that to anyone..

I wish that I, that a lot of my friends, could be more like that. Granite, I say what I feel and what I believe a lot and I could care less what my next door neighbor thinks and I have a couple of friends that are like that. I admire them for that, I admire them for just saying "you know what.. I'm just not feeling it today, here's whats up with me.."  But a lot of my friends that I know get caught up in the validation of other friends, society, they forget that they are "just human", that they should be able to vent, say how they feel, put it out there without being judged, for us women is it a self esteem thing? A control thing? Are we afraid to be vulnerable with other women who might be going through a similar situation? A lot of it, yes. We weave a circle of social acceptance every day and some of us don't even know how big of a web we have spun. What does that reflect on our children? Ladies we bear a lot of the weight of the world and however you get to your womanhood or motherhood is a total blessing and we should be able to lean on each other for love and support, but we should also be able to hold up our panties, down what our close friends have to say with a cup of tea, and keep on going!

I am guilty of this and I am not ashamed to admit it, hello?! God loves me just the same and I know when I need to slap myself in the face and be a better woman, wife, and mother ;O) and God will surely send someone in to my life to be that slap for me! Ha! Perfect example-- I wanted to get caught up in all this "crafty craftsmanness" going on everywhere you look, I mean I'm about to go out and by myself a sewing machine... so I can widdle up a 1st birthday outfit when???? Oh right, somewhere in between working, taking care of my family, keeping a home, and growing another baby.... oh and plastering my child's face to 30 water bottles?! Lisa wake up.... you don't have time for that right now and I'm pretty sure Meadow isn't going to have a complex if she can't wear a pillowcase dress?? She will be wanting a sequin ball gown by the time she's 2?! :) My girlfriend said all this to me over the phone one morning and I about peed my pants laughing so hard.. Don't get me wrong.. I am not knocking my friends who do all this, I think it is great and they are some sweet sweet and very talented ladies and I am so happy that they can do all this for their children and what a blessing they make the time to do it, but Lisa can't, and she doesn't need to feel bad that she can't - is the point I'm making. Cheers to you supermoms!! and cheers to you ladies who do good to go to work, come home, keep your house cleaned, your husband loved, and a yummy meal cooked for your family :O)

We eb and flow in all our daily circumstances, some of them can lift us up and a lot of them can tear us down, and we've got to stop drowning in what and who tears us down. You do not have to be a part of that anymore and it doesn't make you a bad person, it makes you a real and honest person who is in touch with your own self values, goals, and beliefs. A lot of our attitude, hurt, encouragement, lack of will to succeed, we allow to come from the people around us-- mistake #1. You don't need validation from anyone- you have been BLESSED with accreditation of Jesus Christ!! Surround yourself with people who are going to uplift you, who are going to push you down the path you were meant to go, married couples- surround yourself with other married couples who will uplift you in your own relationship.. not who are going to sit around and have husband/wife bashing sessions. You will always find someone who is more than willing to drown right there with you, but trust me, you don't want that, it may seem like a good solution for the here and now, but you need to look at the big picture, where will this take you three, five, ten years from now?? "If you keep doing what you're doing, you're going to keep getting what you've always got"

You are responsible for your own life and your own actions so man up, or should I say, woman up! Ha! If something is not working for you, or for the best interest of your family, you need to find the courage to change it. If it involves a family member that is causing distress, turmoil, hurt and frustration for you, your child, or even for you and your husband, you may request to change that. You do not have to suffer under someone else's inability to change or to respect the life you lead and the decisions you have made for your own family. There is no power on this earth that will all of a sudden be bestowed apon you to change another human being- only God can do that (and believe me when I say I have been down this road 5, 234 times and I keep thinking I am the miracle worker, stop playin Lisa, you are a career worker.. Ha! Ha!) Let God do that changing for you!! It's easier said than done, but you've got to start somewhere! I've had to do this in my own life- I have a husband who I adore and love, I have a baby girl who I want to see grow under the umbrella of a God so great that no man will pluck her from His hand, and I have a baby on the way. And maybe God knew that I would be strong enough to handle a small child, demands of a huge family, and the energy for another baby because I love Him so much and I try to seek His will for OUR life, not everyone else's life. I have had to learn how to do some major, but gentle, toe stepping when I need to and maybe this little baby in my belly has helped to light a fire under my own feet? And don't worry about if you want to get angry with God, go ahead!!! Throw a few punches, He wants you to talk to Him, even if you have to yell at Him! I have been here too, sobbing, crying, yelling like a crazy lady, but you know what: He never leaves me and He always answers me in His time. I mean, is this like our relationships with our earthly fathers or what?? Man, they can drive us up the wall sometimes, but we still love Him, we always come back to Him, and we always continue to seek His advice- He truly is a Heavenly Father, I don't know how else to explain it in words.

I have a couple of girlfriends who are facing their own battles right now (including myself), and we can never truly say that we know exactly how one another feels because we have not been in that situation. I have a friend who is facing trying to get her 18 m old son back after a man who was once a part of her life took him from her, a couple other friends who are just facing different woman struggles with family, co-workers, and probably just some plain old idiots around them? Ha! But I can say this: do not give up in the Life that God has laid out for you. He created you to bear this cross no matter how big or small, He loves you just the same and He has promised you that He will never leave you, and whatever choices you make will reflect on the ones you love the most.

I have about 3,124 scriptures that I could post for this blog- If you want direct scripture on something from the blog you can post a comment and I will get that to you :O)

Keep the faith my sweet friends- He is never but a tear away <3

Grow Where You are Planted... and share your banana =o)

Oh how I find such sweet release in anything I'm going through when I write. It is like talking to God in the Heavens, except on paper. And I try to throw a little humor in every now and then-- you just can't make it through life without some humor and laughing at yourself every once in a while.

I got to thinking this past week.. funny huh?? A woman always thinking....... Ha! That God has me planted perfectly.. I was sitting in my vehicle yesterday having some lunch, dripping taco sauce on myself, just thinking and praying, and the wind started picking up. I watched the tree in front of me sway and bend from side to side, branches wavering in the wind, the tiny white blossoms taking flight and falling off the branches to wherever they were going.. It was beautiful. I thought about myself being more like that tree. And I cannot tell you how many times my blossoms have blown in millions of different directions, the old ones dying and leaving their branches, all the while new ones were taking shape and reaching for the sunshine.

My life is so much more content and peaceful than it has ever been in the past 10 years. And it just keeps getting better every day and every year, and by the Grace of God, only He knows when it is time to blossom, to make a new, and to let the old die, whither, and take flight. I find myself swaying in the wind more often than none, constantly being blown in all different directions, whether that is my family's needs, my child's needs, my husband's needs, my work's needs, but I still stand, I am still grounded, I still grow where He has me planted. I am made of strong wood- Jesus :) He lives and grows inside of me.

I say this because I know that my husband and I are going to face strong winds in the next couple years of our lives together, great changes and great challenges are coming, but the one thing I love about God is that He always knows how much I can handle, its like He's up there saying... "Oh that Lisa, yeah she'll be fine, I'm going to go ahead and bless her with this opportunity and see what she does for others"..

Let me say that if I hadn't been the type of girl who "went through just about everything" when she was younger, I might be going a little postal in these later years.... LOL!! But I am so thankful that I did what I did when I was younger, that I didn't do half the things my friends did when we were younger, that God somehow always managed to stay right by my side, even when I decided to push Him away- He never left. I am thankful that I experienced doubt, pain, loss, frustration, friendship betrayal, disappointment, lies, several broken hearts and I broke a few myself. I'm thankful I didn't get married too young, I didn't have kids too young and I'm thankful I didn't have kids too late. I was having coffee with a dear friend of mine the other morning and I remember us talking about how our lives have unfolded. I remember thinking to myself that I am glad I didn't wait until "later" to have children. A lot of people who wait sometimes find it harder to "mold" to a child's life, to give up their wants, their needs, their "play time".. I am thankful that I was never the girl who "had everything", who traveled a lot, or just did a lot. I don't know what that feels like so I have nothing that I "want for" or "miss" except to be a good mother and to raise my children in the light of an ugly world. I am bendable, I am willing to change, I am willing to even give up the tiny selfish parts of me so that my children can have a better life, so that I can truly love my husband and try to be the best wife possible. I am made to bend in the wind, to stand in the rain, to show my beauty even in the midst of a storm. If there is one thing God and my child have taught me, it is to be still, to be patient, to stand planted, to know that what might seem like forever now, is only a milisecond to the benefits later.

I do not have much scripture for my post today- just a thought of are you growing where you are planted or are your roots dead? Are you poisoning the ground around you or making fertile ground for someone else to grow?

"And don't be wishing you were someplace else or with someone else. Where you are right now is God's place for you. Live and obey and love and believe right there." 1 Corinthians 7:17

All my love in Him

What is in the Word Successful for a Woman?

Okay so I am really going to have to do a better job at getting to this blog more than once every three months.. but hey, I'm one crazy working mommy who loves her job and family :O)

Sometimes God starts talking to me about twenty things at once, or maybe that's just my own silly head having about 20 thoughts going on at once... Either way, I should just start putting them all down on paper.. Right? Right! I hope my blog finds you totally honest. Hey, that is one thing I can attest to, not to put my business out there, but I can be totally honest with myself and being honest with myself means being real with the world and someone else out there is going through the exact same thing!

My point from all that ramble-- I found myself having one of my usual "Lisa feeling sorry for herself days" yesterday.. Now my life is pretty great, but I am human, and by the grace of God, I am a woman; so emotions and the mind run a little rampid now and then! Thank goodness I have a loving Father who knows how to reel me back in, wipe my tears, and give me a great big hug, remind me to pull my big girl pants up and keep on struttin :)

I found myself getting lost in "worldly things" yesterday. Oh yes, all stemming from the devil itself: facebook :) You know what I'm talking about.. Looking at fun, exciting pictures some of my friends posted about the great fun they are having in their lives, the places they are going, the things they are doing, buying, money spending, so and so forth, you get the idea... The world loves to suck us women up in to what IT has going on, we compare ourselves to other women, the way they look, dress, act.. we even find ourselves comparing who's baby is cuter? Ha! Seriously??!! Do I need a great big career like she has, drive a fancy car? have 50 pairs of shoes? and the devil LOVES to play on that 24/7! That is his job. he will not stop until he makes you feel like what you have, what you do, and who you are is still just not quite good enough. The minute you get out of bed in the morning, he is right on your heels. The devil never wants us to be happy with what we have going on in our own lives. And for me, the devil knows how to trip me up with that from time to time. Now, don't take me the wrong way here... I don't sit around sulking wishing I could be this magic, successful, wealthy woman: I am all of that and so much more. I am just being totally honest about what some, not all,  women face, reality hits. :)

And then here's God's reality:

"Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies." ~ Proverbs 31:10

"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
   but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised."~ Proverbs 31:30

I have to reflect on a piece from one of my books that I love {The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian} I have it listed in my suggested reading as well. She describes the model of a good wife from the Bible and I could not have said it any better myself. One of my favorite quotes that I always go back to.

"It says she takes care of her home and runs it well. She knows how to buy and sell and make wise investments. She keeps herself healthy and strong and dresses attractively. She works diligently and has skills which are marketable. She is giving and conscientiously prepares for the future. She contributes to her husband's good reputation. She is strong, solid, honorable, and not afraid of growing older. She speaks wisely and kindly. She doesn't sit around doing nothing, but carefully watches what goes on in her home. Her children and her husband praise her. She doesn't rely on charm and beauty but knows that the fear of the Lord is what is most attractive. She supports her husband and still has a fruitful life of her own which speaks loudly for itself" ~ Proverbs 31 The Power of a Praying Wife- Stormie Omartian 

Now, not all this has to be about a "married woman" and quite frankly, it is for us, just women, married women, single women, it doesn't matter. We are women and we have a big job to do in a crazy world that trys to tell us every day what we "should" be.. and honestly, those are lies straight from hell. I had two sweet friends jump right in to my life, God sent them swarming to me with uplifting words, things I already knew, but He knew that I needed reinforcement, double encouragement, I needed to hear it and see it out loud. How amazing is He to know exactly what I need and for them to tell me exactly what God wants me to hear- the blatant honest truth of His word, His desire for me, His never ending will and blessing for my life.

It is my divine promise as a mother, something I cannot express in words, to show my child (ren) how to lead an honest, humbling, sincere life, to know all the love they will ever need comes from one Man, and one Man alone. The devil fights me with this every single day that I am alive! I see it and hear it all around me. One thing I will never forget a lady who I once worked with when I lived in Dothan once told me: She said "Lisa, as your relationship grows with God and you start to learn and see what comes from Him, you will be able to ward off and fight the devil every single time he tries to hit you with something" She could not have been more right. If I wasn't where I am today in my relationship with God, the devil would have me totally whacked!! Ha! I mean you would be surprised how the devil can use the tiniest things to trip you up, you'd be surprised how clever he is and how well he knows you and your weakest desires. The closer you walk with God, the harder the enemy will fight to tear you away from Him!!

I love this quote my girlfriend shared with me: Thank you Kari :)

"He never said we would have cake and icecream, but He did promise bread and water."

All my love in Him <3

What is Laziness Anyway?

So... it has yet been another minute since I have shared on the blog about my Father's wonderful works. GOODNESS HE AMAZES ME ALL THE TIME... It almost makes me want to slap myself :) hehehe! That was a joke!
Anywho- I like the fact that God humbles me enough that I can be honest with myself and about what I'm feeling, I am never ashamed or embarrassed to feel what I feel or to even know when I am "messing up"- I am kept under the umbrella of the DIVINE FORGIVER! :O)

Well, I have had to do some more Lisa searching and chatting it up with God these past couple of weeks because I have been a HOT MESS!! and who do I blame for that?! Oh of course everyone around me right?! Ha! Yeah, God let me get away with that for all of about five seconds. BAM!! Lisa, don't you know you are responsible for your own actions and feelings and if you don't like something- CHANGE IT!! I have just had a whirlwind of emotions flying around relating to my job, future opportunities, my own dreams I have been praying about, my family, my husband, my baby, my extended family, etc, etc, etc.... I mean who knew that Life could be difficult?! and what did God say about that?

³³ I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” ~ John 16:33

Ah ha!!! GOD HAS OVERCOME THE WORLD!!!! THE WORLD!!!! not just money, famine, disappointment, rude people..... THE WORLD!!!! God is the maker of all things, He created the stars in the Heavens- How could He even possibly forget about little ol me!! NEVER! :O)

So my friends, I came to this: What is LISA missing?! What does Lisa need that keeps her going everyday to continue to be a good worker, provider, mother, wife, GIVER!! I need God number one, but I also need the word!! It is like fresh air, water, I need it everyday and I need GOOD PEOPLE for both me and my husband to surround ourselves with, who not only lift us up individually, but we need to be lifted up in our marriage AT ALL TIMES!! I had to do some SERIOUS "friend" chopping and just eliminating those people out of my life who just don't "uplift me." and it doesn't make them bad people, it just means that where they are going and what they do are not what I want or need for myself or my family. It is okay people for you to say no to someone or to not hang around someone when you feel like they could be a hindrance to your spiritual relationship and walk with God and I have to remind myself- if they don't like me for it, well, that is okay, I wasn't put on this Earth to be like by many :)

I have decided that there will be no more "weeping" feeling sorry for myself when things don't go my way, no more "complaining" and "always being tired"... Did you know the very words you speak out of your mouth can bring life or bring death?! I'll never forget a lady I used to work with when I lived in Dothan would always tell me to watch what I repeat because it will come true..... You will speak it in to action... You ever hear people say ALL THE TIME "oh I'm sooo tired, I'm tired... I'm sooo tired.. my neck hurts, my back hurts and so on... " and literally they ARE TIRED!!!! Hello- that's me!!

Proverbs says "Death and Life are in the power of the tongue; and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof." Proverbs 18:21

Change is hard because it starts with you, you can't change anyone around you to "accomodate the way you are feeling"- you have to be the change. Get up, MOVE, DIVE IN!!! Chase after your dreams, don't just stand there and wait for them to come to you "because you deserve it"- GO, NOW!! RUN, GET THEM!!!!

I AM!!!! I am the change I want to see in and around my family and my life, and I am not stopping... FOR ANYONE!! :O)

"The harvest is PLENTIFUL; but the WORKERS ARE FEW" ~ Matt 9:37


All my love, in Him <3

My Family Ties

Well, here we are again and it has been A MINUTE since I have shared with you all (whoever you all may be) ;o)
As you know, Paul and I had our baby girl in December and we could not be happier and more blessed. God is truly AMAZING and I couldn't ask for a more humbling, loving experience than staring in to a child of God's eyes wondering what the future holds for her.

I will admit, along with this tremendous blessing from above, has come along challenges and new chapters that I am diving in to and more anxious to learn about every day. Isn't it amazing how God teaches us something new about ourselves and the people around us?

One challenge for me has been family and those who consider themselves "close" to me or my husband. I will admit, being a wife, mother, home maker, and full time working woman is TOUGH! and that is okay to admit. One thing "super women" have a tough time doing is admitting they have reached their limits; it's like we don't want anyone to "know" we just can't do it all. Well, we are weak and humble creatures in God's eyes and our honesty with Him and with each other is the best remedy for those "I've just had enough" moments. We all go through it.

My husband and I both come from divorced parents and both of our parents have re-married, so, we have FOUR sets of parents and grand parents for Meadow! And I thought it was going to be tough for us to get around on the holidays just us two?! HA! Little did I know... :O) Now, don't get me wrong, Meadow is TRULY BLESSED to have all her grandparents who love her and who are more than willing to help and to love on her. And Paul and I are blessed with a big family who love us and who God gave us for a reason. Growing up, my parents were never really "touchy/emotional/i love you" all over the place parents. Now, over the years, I see a huge change, in all of us, and I can only thank God and silent prayers. I think that hindered me some in my relationships with some of my in-laws because I didn't quite know how to want to surround myself with all of them all the time. So, God said, here Lisa, I'm giving you twice as many parents to love you... all the time. WOAH!! But, God knows exactly what I need in my life and when I start bucking Him, He comes on even stronger: what a stubborn Fella, huh? What a stubborn Lisa! In the end, He is always right.

But, in the beginning I found myself feeling guilty that I couldn't 'accomodate' all the grand parents enough or visit as much. Spreading myself, my baby, and our family too thin was beginning to wear me out. I am a huge family person now and I love having family together, but I know my limits and I know that I need my own time with my husband and our baby girl. So, I had to come to God: say look, here's what I'm facing, please help me to make the best out of mine and my husband's situation for our daughter and ourselves. And, sure enough, with my mother-in-law and my own mother: God pointed me straight to the book of Ruth (Ruth 1:6-22). HELLO?! At first, I thought, seriously Lord? You want me to follow these ladies wherever they go and listen to every word that they say?? Yeah right.... I'm stubborn remember? and I'm not doing that... God just chuckled I'm sure. :O)
Now, God wasn't asking me to go move in with them, as Ruth did with her mother-in-law, or to move where she lives, but He was asking me to just open my eyes and my heart, to follow His fifth commandment: to honor my mother and father (Eph 6:2, Deuteronomy 5:16, Matt 15:4). This commandment ALSO includes our in- laws; to honor and respect them. We may not always like what they say or agree with the things they do, and that is okay. I am very good at admitting my limits and knowing what they are, but I had to learn how to voice those, how to voice my boundaries for my family to those we love. And that can be a challenge in and of itself. The hard part is that most people don't take the time to understand what we are feeling or where we are coming from. We are all made of a stubborn/selfish nature and so it is easier for us to say .."okay, whatever..." But communication is key, regardless of what some people say about that, that is what gets you through the crazy moments.  So, for me, I had to learn that it is okay for me to communicate, to set boundaries for our family, and if we can't get to everyone all the time or when it is best for them, that is okay too. It doesn't make me a bad person, wife, mother, etc.. I just know my limits and I know that I am not "super woman" and I can't do everything. I am so blessed with a wonderful husband who knows when my communicating is on the verge of slacking. Ha! And so he picks me up where I have left myself off. He helps communicate with me and so we make a great team; just a small thing that makes our lives truly joyeous.

I know you hear people say all the time "Life is too short" and "don't take for granted the time and family given to you"... and so this is true and very well said. And, as with most things in my life, I don't take much for granted and I wish that I could be everywhere all the time, and have at least 3 more Meadows with me :O)
But, God also tells me to "not worry, for He knows everything I need before I ask.." (Matt 6:25-34)
It is okay to say 'No' at times and it's okay ladies to not be such "super women" and mommies all of the time.

More coming soon......
In Him <3

Lisa

A Season of Change

Well, it has been a minute since my last post, a month to be exact. While God has been very busy in my life, I will admit I was sort of hesitant to share what He was working out in me. 

God brought a season of change to my life right after Paul and I were married. A season of beautiful growth, mass confusion, and serene humbleness. Before we found out I was pregnant, God was setting me and my husband up for a baby, me especially, I just knew it. Little things in my life that I had struggled with in the past were finally coming together and under control, God was quiet around me, I had learned and dealt with many things about myself and those around me that prepared me for my next responsiblity and great love in life. A child.

With this child, God also showed me a season of change in my friendships. I am very happy to say that the woman I was in high-school is not the woman I am today; the woman I was in college is not the woman I am today; the woman I was three years ago is not the woman I am today, and the woman I will be tomorrow will not be the woman I am today. Some friends from high school and some friends from college are exactly the same way they were then as they are now. Not to say that is a good or bad thing, but, I believe, it is a personal and spiritual thing. God is always changing us, He is making a new image in us. If we were all the same and stayed at the same pace, life would be pretty boring, and our friendships likewise.

One friendship I had a very hard time letting go of. At one time in my life, what we once had in common, we no longer share. I like the quote T.D. Jakes uses when referring to his reading on "Letting Go." He says, "you've got to know when its over, you have to know when someone's part in your story is over, so that way, you can stop trying to raise the dead"... and I can't even begin to tell you how many times I've tried to raise the dead. Thank goodness for my wonderful husband, he is always a rock I can break myself against. I didn't realize that God was bringing to me brand new friendships and beautiful relationships that He knew I needed and would cherrish. I had to stop forcing myself to try to be the friend I thought some of my friends needed. That even included when friends around me didn't respond to a situation the way I would if it were something in their life. When people don't reach out with overwhelming joy as I would about something, that hurts, but I had to remember that isn't my fault. Who I am is not who they are. My pastor once shared with me that instead of harboring hurt feelings from past relationships (parents, friends, relationships) I should always, every day, channel that hurt and frustration right in to a booming ray of overwhelming love and joy to my husband and my family. Don't you love it when someone else is right? When change happens that does not mean that we stop loving others or that we stop caring, it just means that the paths we choose are different, some intertwine and some never re-connect.

Seasons of change happen all the time in and around our lives. I love all the seasons in my life: they have taught me what and who I am today and what and who I will strive to be tomorrow. My priorities have changed. I was reading in one of my many favorite books last night, A Wife After Gods Own Heart, and the words just about jumped off the pages to me. God wants me, as a wife and mother, to "build my home." And He has surrounded me with friendships, relationships, and the tools to prepare for this season.

"A virtuous wife carefully watches all that goes on in her household...." Proverbs 31:27 

Now, do not get me wrong, I don't mean that every woman has to stay at home, be lonely, tend to the house and kids, but, WE ARE and were made to be the home makers. :) My husband and myself included still love to socialize and we make time for our own date nights and evenings with other friends, but, as I said before, priorities change, and God always surrounds us with what and who we need in our lives at the very time we are needing it to prepare great works for Him.

So, with all that said, whatever Season of change you are facing- know it is a season, it will pass, and it will make you a stronger, wiser, and more humble woman. Sometimes we can't always see all the colors because God is continuously perfecting His masterpiece. ; )

Until we write again, you are safe in Him <3